In the future we'll all be gay
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
