quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
