I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
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