i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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