I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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