his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need a beard to bite.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
