Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You ruined the universe
wow bdsm is so cute
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
