Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
