So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
