she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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