you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
