I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
