What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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