Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
