how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
