we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
