if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My first STD was from a foam party
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
