going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
