Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
