he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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