Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
