sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
