whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
