Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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