Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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