She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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