idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
