I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
