you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
