dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
