You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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