Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
