And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
