ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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