I need help removing her.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
