You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
