I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
