PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
