i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize