I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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