Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She bit a glass in half.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
