bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
