You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
