Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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