Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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