just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
