Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
