Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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