i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
