Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
